


It's Not Over Yet

by addict_writer



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, M/M, Married Couple, Memories, Relationship Problems, Sappy, Slow Burn, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-20 18:34:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12439113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addict_writer/pseuds/addict_writer
Summary: Mystic is a small village near the ocean, which makes it the perfect romantic getaway. Justin takes Brian on a holiday where they have an appointment with a couple therapist to rekindle the fire. Brian is all against it. Justin is at the end of his patience. Their marriage is in shambles. Their therapist does his best to salvage their relationship and remind them all the reasons they fell in love with each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been forever since I posted anything new. This is a short story - 7 chapters in total. I'll update every day.
> 
> Many thanks for being an amazing Beta to eureka1 who described the story as “really very sweet even, dare I say, ridiculously romantic” which is exactly what I was aiming for when I wrote it.

 

“What is this place?” Brian looked around at the small cottage, complete with white picket fence and happy couples lying on blankets on the grass in the front yard.

“It's supposed to be a peaceful place where we'll rediscover ourselves,” Justin replied.

“So far I see all my nightmares coming to life.”

Justin led the way down the paved path to the door, smiling at the happy couples around them. How he wished he and Brian would be like them by the end of the week.

He was about to ring the doorbell when Brian pushed the handle, breezing past him into the cottage with a sour look on his face.

There was a small reception desk behind the staircase.

“Hello! Welcome to the Mystic Love Shack! We hope you enjoy your stay!” The cheerful young lady behind the counter greeted them.

“Thank you! We sure hope—” Justin started to respond with a big smile, only to be interrupted.

“Just give us the goddamn key,” Brian muttered.

Mary, the girl's name tag read, wasn't deterred by Brian's grumpy mood. She checked them in, handing over two keys, and instructing them how to reach their room.

"This is a real key. They don't even have access cards in this place. Where have you brought me?" Brian lamented, stomping up the stairs.

Justin sighed loudly. He was tired of the same arguments.

Brian went to the bedroom, looking around with a frown. Justin followed. His heart did a little jump when he noticed the queen-size bed.

“There must have been a misunderstanding,” Brian said.

“They don't have any other rooms available. You won't die if you sleep next to me,” Justin explained.

“Fine. But you're not allowed to complain that I snore, which I don't.”

“And you are not allowed allowed to complain that I take over the bed.”

“Fine.” Brian started unpacking his clothes.

Once Justin was done with unpacking his own bag, he said, “I'm going to the reception to check the time for dinner.”

“I won't eat whatever crap they feed you here. We're going to find a restaurant.”

**oOo**

“I'll never complain about Liberty Diner again,” Brian muttered.

They were waiting for their order at a local diner where the serving lady seemed bored out of her mind. They had to wait forty-five minutes for their soup to get there, and when it arrived, it was cold and tasted terrible. There was also a fly buzzing around the place, mostly trying to sit on Brian's beer glass.

Justin tried to save the situation by ordering a second course. Steak and fries—no one could get that wrong, right?

It turned out the chef liked to undercook the steak, so much that it was almost mooing.

Brian tried selecting the more cooked parts of the steak but eventually gave up. He caught Justin's eyes across the table. It wasn't his husband's fault that the diner's staff was incompetent, but it was his fault they were in this place to begin with.

“If they expect me to pay for this crap, they're mistaken,” he declared.

“We can't just leave, Brian,” Justin tried to rationalize.

“Watch me.” He stood up, ready to go.

In the next second, the waitress approached their table. “Is there a problem, sir?”

Justin cringed, knowing Brian's temper was going to land them in trouble. He stood quickly, wrapping an arm around his husband's waist with one hand resting on his chest.

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Justin said sternly. “We'd appreciate not being charged for something we couldn't eat.”

Brian stared at Justin curiously, but he was pleased Justin had taken over. He'd probably get arrested if he confronted the staff.

“Was there something wrong with the food?”

“The soup was cold and tasted like boiled socks. Dirty boiled socks,” Justin explained seriously. “The steak was not cooked, and the fries were burned. I'm really sorry, but we won't pay.”

The waitress bristled. “If you leave this pace without paying, I'm going to call the police.”

Brian glared at her. “Please do. I'd love to tell them about the sketchy place you run here. So unless you want this diner closed for poisoning the customers, you'll allow us to leave without paying. We promise not to badmouth this place.”

Justin bit on his tongue, trying not to laugh. He thought he heard Brian adding “too much,” under his breath, which was funny as hell.

As the waitress argued about collecting payment for their order, a few other diners started voicing their own problems with their meals.In the middle of the madness, Brian grabbed Justin's sleeve, pulling him out of that place. They walked quickly down the street, glancing behind them every few seconds.

When they’d put a good distance between them and the diner, Justin exploded in giggles.“Remember that time, a few years ago, when we left that fancy restaurant in New York without paying?”

Brian smirked. “The service was terrible. And that waiter was a troll.”

“In comparison to this experience, that one was a hundred times better,” Justin contemplated.

“True. Anyway, where are we going to eat now?”

“We could go into that store and get some snacks. Then when we get back to the hotel, we can search the Internet for food establishments in the area.”

“You know, this is all your fault. None of this would have happened if we were home now.”

 _Here we go again_ , Justin thought sadly.

The shopping trip went better than Justin had expected. As he was inspecting the shampoo on display because he'd forgotten his at home, he saw condoms not too far away. If their time with the couple's therapist in this town went well, they might need them. In a rush decision, he picked up a box, dropping it into the basket.

He found Brian inspecting a few types of expensive cheese.

“Which one? This one has nuts and this one figs.”

“Figs. I'm allergic to nuts,” Justin said, rolling his eyes. “But if you want the nuts, get that one. I'm not a big fan of cheese, you know that.”

Brian got both of them.

It was such little things that gave Justin hope that his husband still cared about him to some extent.

With their shopping done, they stood in line to pay. As Justin put their purchases on the magnetic band, Brian noticed the condoms.

“What's this?” he asked loudly, shaking the box in front of Justin.

“What does it look like?”

“We don't need them.” Brian threw them into the pile of unwanted objects near the cash register.

The gesture hurt more than Justin could explain. He left Brian to pay for their groceries, dashing from the store, blinded by tears.

He couldn't wait to meet with the therapist the next day. Though, considering the way Brian was acting and how negative he was toward the whole experience, Justin doubted this would change much. By the end of the week, they'd be two thousand dollars poorer and in the same predicament.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Brian demanded, joining him outside, bags in his hands.

“I could ask the same thing of you! Is it such a crime that I wanted to buy condoms? I thought maybe since we're here… we might have some fun. We never have time at home because you don't make time for that!”

“We're not going to have this stupid fight in the middle of the street.” Brian strode ahead, toward their cottage.

Justin hurried to catch up. “No, let's simply ignore the fact that you haven't touched me properly in years.”

“Stop being a twat. I touch you all the time.”

“In your imagination maybe,” Justin spat. “When's the last time we fucked?”

Brian glanced at him, frowning.

“Exactly. If you don't remember, it's been too long. It was on your birthday, two months ago. It happened once. You thought that would be a nice thank you for making you dinner. And you didn't even care about my needs.”

“Can you lower your fucking voice?” Brian hissed, looking around.

“No, I won't! I'm sick of this charade we call marriage! If there's no change by the end of this week...”

“Yes?” Brian turned, facing Justin. “What are you going to do?” he challenged.

“You're pretty smart. Figure it out for yourself.” Justin stormed through the door to their cottage, heading to their room.

Fear gripped Brian as he realized Justin was more upset about the situation they were in than he had originally thought.

Having once claimed that he’d die if he had fewer than three rounds of sex per day, Brian figured that he must be long dead. Justin's painting schedule and his shows kept him busy and unavailable most of the time. Brian was in over his head at work, running what used to be a small advertising company based in Pittsburgh, which had now branched out to some of the biggest cities of United States, keeping him at work until later than eleven at night most days. When he got home, Justin was either asleep, or Brian was too tired to even think about sex.

The rest of the evening went by in silence.

Justin made a few sandwiches. He ate his while watching TV, and Brian ate his at his laptop in bed, checking emails.As night fell, Justin refused to move from the couch, deciding to sleep there, away from his insensitive partner. He doubted Brian, sucked into the abyss of his work, would notice he wasn't in bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! You guys blew me off with the amazing way you received this story. Thank you!
> 
> I forgot to mention this, but the idea is loosely based on the movie Hope Springs. =)

“I think this is it,” Justin said, unlatching a gate and walking down the path to the door. There was a sign in the yard, indicating they were at Gold Couple Therapy.

Justin rang the doorbell, while Brian looked around in disgust.

The door opened to reveal a thirty-something man with curly black hair and a kind smile. “Hello! Welcome.”

“Hello.” Justin smiled back, shaking the man's hand. “We're here for the therapy course.”

“Of course you are. Come in,” the man invited them, not questioning why Brian hadn't shaken his hand.

When they were inside, he led them to the sitting room, which doubled as his therapy room.

“First of all, let's introduce ourselves. My name is Ethan Gold.”

“Like the name of your business,” Brian drawled sarcastically.

Justin ignored his husband and answered their therapist. “We're Justin and Brian.”

Ethan nodded, waving to the sofa. “Let's sit down and discuss the problem.”

“There's no problem,” Brian snapped.

“There must be some trouble in your relationship to bring you to therapy.”

“One week is not long enough to explain our problems,” Justin mumbled.

“There is no problem, Justin. I told you. If you wanted a holiday, we could have gone to fucking Ibiza. But here we are in this crappy place because you're on your ambition tour to fix something that it ain’t broken.”

Justin folded his arms across his chest, glaring at Brian. “And if we'd gone to Ibiza, what would have happened? Same as at home - NOTHING.”

“Okay, you should both sit down. We need to have a chat,” Ethan said sternly.

“Who the fuck are you to dictate what I do?” Brian rounded to Ethan.

“I'm your therapist, and apparently both of you need me more than you know. So let's have a chat.”

With sour looks and nerves skyrocketing, Justin and Brian sat down on the sofa, as far from each other as possible.

Ethan sat across from them in his armchair, placing a notepad on the coffee table.

_**Brian and Justin** _

_-Communication problems._

_-Relationship problems._

_-Accumulated anger._

Once he was done scribbling his first impression of the couple, Ethan looked up at them. Justin was picking at the cuticle of his thumb, and Brian was checking his phone.

“Okay. First rule. No phones unless there is an emergency,” Ethan explained.

“It is an emergency. I'm the CEO of a big ad company. They need me.”

“One hour - your company won't crash without you.”

Brian pocketed his phone, glaring daggers.

Justin was surprised to see Brian had listened to a virtual stranger. There was yet hope for him.

“This is a good start, I suppose. Tell me a little about yourselves. Brian is a businessman. What about you, Justin?”

“I paint.”

“So you're an artist? That's wonderful. I used to aspire to become a well-known violin player, but after a few failures, I gave up,” Ethan admitted.

“I almost gave up, too,” Justin whispered, catching Brian's eye. “But Brian was always there to encourage me. He's my rock.”

“Yeah, he needs a good kick in the ass every now and then,” Brian joked.

Ethan smiled despite himself. “I bet you guys don't have much time to talk or simply spend some time together with such busy schedules.”

“You got that right.” Justin sighed loudly.

“Well, but you must be home at the same time at some point, right? What do you do then?”

“Brian's practically attached to his phone. It's like an extension of his body. And well, I usually paint or sketch to kill time.”

Ethan frowned. “I meant when you're alone. Don't you talk about your day? What about more intimate things?”

“He paints and travels for his shows. I work twelve or more hours per day and sometimes travel to visit the branches of my company,” Brian said, aggravated with the stupid questions. “And what do you mean by intimate things?”

“Don't you sometimes travel together? I'm sure one of you can occasionally spare some time to accompany the other person.”

“We're busy with our own things,” Brian replied curtly.

“Justin?” Ethan asked softly. “Do you feel the same?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess.”

“You guess? How do you feel about being apart all the time?”

Carefully avoiding Brian’s eyes, Justin looked directly at Ethan. “I feel lonely,” he admitted in a small voice.

“What about you, Brian? Don't you miss your partner?”

“I see him every day. How could I miss him?” Brian bit out. He glanced at Justin, frowning a little. _Feeling lonely?_ Justin should have told him about that.

Ethan figured Brian was starting to realize there were problems between him and Justin, but was too proud and stubborn to admit it.

“This brings us back to my previous question. How is your sex life?”

“That's none of your fucking business!”

Justin snorted, cupping a hand over his mouth when he realized he'd laughed at that question.

“I get it, Brian. You don't want to be here, but Justin thinks you need help to rediscover yourselves, to rekindle the fire.”

Brian scoffed. “Go sell that bullshit to someone who believes you! We're fine.”

“We're NOT fine!” Justin yelled suddenly, turning to Brian.

“We'll be fine,” Brian insisted, rolling his eyes.

“No, we won't! It's been going on for YEARS! Fucking years, Brian! It's fucking painful the way our marriage drags on day by day, month by month, year by year, filled with the same crap. I'm fucking DONE! You don't want help.” Justin got up, leaving the room and the house, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Whoa!” Ethan was torn between running after Justin and confronting Brian about what had happened. He opted for staying.

Brian was staring in the direction Justin had gone, mouth hanging open and eyes huge. He finally stood shakily, scared to death. He'd managed to push Justin too far.

It was true that their marriage wasn't what it used to be, but there was so little time; yet, he could have found some time for his husband. He had to do something.

“I’d better go... Check if... he's okay,” Brian said, worried.

“I'm sure Justin needs to cool down. Whatever you say to him now might damage the situation even more. I think you should stay. I'd like to talk to you alone,” Ethan encouraged him.

“Well, I have nothing to tell you.”

Brian was in the living room's doorway when Ethan's words stopped him.

“This kind of behavior made Justin so desperate as to contact me. If you keep up being so negative and dismissive of everything he says, _anyone_ says, you may lose a lot.”

Brian looked back at Ethan, then continued out the door.

On the way to the cottage, Brian found a hole-in-the-wall pub. Getting shit-faced sounded like a great idea.

As he drank, Brian kept thinking about his relationship with Justin. He wasn't sure how they'd ended up in this dark place.

They had used to be happy. They’d had amazing sex.

Things had gone downhill when Justin had accepted an agent's offer to move to New York for the summer when he was twenty-two. He'd made a name for himself, and the distance had added something more to their sex life. Until Brian couldn't handle it anymore and had brought up their separation. Justin had been on the next plane back home.

Everything had been perfect, even better than at the beginning of their tremendous relationship.

Some years later, Brian had mustered the courage to ask Justin to be his forever and, since marriage between same-sex couples had been legalized in New York, they had escaped there for a wonderful week.

Their happiness had not lasted. Brian had expanded his company and Justin had gotten swamped in commissions.Their times alone got scarcer and farther in between, to the point that they only had sex occasionally. About which, the old Brian would have an aneurysm if he'd known the way the future Brian would turn out.

It was dark outside when he picked his way to their cottage.Brian was afraid of what he'd find in their room. Justin gone? Justin packing, ready to admit defeat and leave? Justin crying?He quietly walked into their room, locked the door behind him, and looked around. It was too quiet.

With his heart thumping in his chest, he went in search of his husband. To his relief, he found him in bed, surrounded by crumpled tissues. As heartbreaking as the sight was, Brian was happy that Justin hadn't fled. It would have been typical of Justin to leave, to distance himself from what hurt him.

As Brian stared at Justin, he realized it had been too long since they'd fallen asleep together, holding each other. The sad part was that he couldn't give in to his sudden desire. Justin was sprawled across the bed, and if Brian jostled him as he got into the bed, he would awaken and raise hell.

So he went to the couch, which was too small for his big frame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you tomorrow!


	3. Chapter 3

Justin woke up groggily, working to pry his eyelids open. The crust that had formed from his crying smarted. He scrubbed at his face, refusing to let another wave of tears overwhelm him.

Taking a shaky breath, he stood on unsteady feet. He realized he hadn't eaten since breakfast the previous day; no wonder he felt faint. Besides, crying drained him of energy.

On his way to the bathroom, his eyes landed on the man sleeping on the couch. His long limbs were dangling over the edge, his head turned at an odd angle, which would probably result in neck pain, his whole posture looking uncomfortable.

“Stubborn asshole,” Justin muttered, going into the bathroom.

He knew, deep down inside his heart, that Brian still loved him, and such small gestures showed it, but he wanted big gestures, grand ones. He wanted his husband back. He wanted the merciless bastard back, the one who had fucked him seven times per day and had still wanted more.

While Justin showered, he tried to remember the good days. They seemed so far away. This life they had now was a nightmare. He would never have imagined they'd go more than a few hours without sex, let alone days, weeks, months...

When a hand touched his back, Justin jumped a foot into the air, nearly slipping on the wet floor of the shower cabin as he landed.

“Holy fuck!” He turned to stare in shock at Brian. “Fuck, Brian.” He waited for his heart to settle.

“Relax,” Brian whispered in his husky morning voice, one Justin had missed hearing. “It's not that kind of shower scene.”

Justin choked out a laugh. “It might as well be, given how mad I am at you.”

Brian caressed the side of Justin's face. “I'm sorry, Sunshine. I was out of line yesterday.” He leaned closer, pressing his cheek to the top of Justin's head. “I promise to be more cooperative today.”

Justin froze, before pulling away to look into Brian's eyes. “You mean...you want to go back to Dr. Gold?”

“Yes. And we can boast about our shower sex.”

“No way!” Justin took a step back, hitting the glass wall. “We're not having sex! That would be all wrong. It would be like going back to square one, back to when we met. You used sex to avoid talking. We need to talk about what brought us to this... point.”

“You're refusing sex?” Brian gaped at him.

“Why so surprised? You avoid it like the plague!”

Brian tilted his head upwards, sighing loudly. “Are we seriously fighting when we could be fucking? I thought this was what you wanted!”

Justin snatched the shower head, rinsing himself before stepping out of the cabin.

While Brian washed, Justin looked through the food from their shopping trip for something to eat. A banana seemed like the only thing he could stomach.

He was getting dressed when Brian stepped out of the bathroom. Naked and dripping wet.

Justin knew him all too well. This was Brian's way of seducing him and avoiding any kind of verbal communication. As much as Justin wanted to cave and fuck until they passed out, they had an appointment that might save their relationship. He hoped that Dr. Gold could help them.

**oOo**

Ethan stared at his patients, trying to understand what had happened in between their last session and this one. It seemed they had come to some kind of conclusion.

They still sat on opposite ends of the couch, but they were more relaxed, and Brian was more open to talking. His body posture showed he was willing to give it a try, for Justin.

“Okay, can you tell me what happened yesterday after you left?” Ethan inquired.

Justin glanced at Brian, who frowned, keeping his eyes on the floor. Neither was willing to start talking.

“Justin? You were pretty upset. Do you want to share what did you do after you left my office?”

Justin bit his lower lip hard. “I went to the seafront. It calmed me.” He gulped thickly, stealing a look at Brian. “Then I went back to the cottage and cried.”

At that, Brian looked up, meeting Justin's eyes.

Ethan jotted down on his pad that Justin was brutally honest, and his words seemed to affect Brian.

“What about you, Brian? Where did you go?”

“To a bar. When I got back to our room, Justin was already asleep.”

At Brian's confession, Justin snorted.

“Did you talk about what happened yesterday?” Ethan asked.

“Oh, yeah.” Justin rolled his eyes. Ethan was about to congratulate him for the attempt, even though it had clearly failed, considering the way Justin was acting, when Justin added, “Brian tried to fuck me in the shower. It's his way to avoid talking.”

“For your information, I wasn't avoiding talking. I simply wanted to fuck you! Excuse me for finding you so desirable.”

“At this stage, I think it's best you start with baby steps to rebuild your relationship,” Ethan suggested. “Did you have intercourse in the shower?”

“No, we didn't _fuck_ ,” Brian spat, rolling his eyes.

“Did you want to?”

“Of course, I wanted to! Why the fuck else would I have initiated it? I wanted to make him feel better. I truly didn't mean to upset Justin so much yesterday.”

“See? Talk avoidance,” Justin pointed out. “Let me fuck you instead of apologizing for what an insensitive ass I've been to you.”

“I said I was sorry!”

“You didn't mean it! You only wanted to get your dick in me. You're always willing to say anything you'd think I want to hear so you'll get your way!”

“Guys!” Ethan stood up. They both turned to him, reminded of his presence. Ethan could only imagine what kind of explosion there would be when they actually reached common ground and finally reunited as a couple - they had so much accumulated tension.

He abandoned his pad, and went to sit between the couple.

“I don't think shouting at each other is going to help. Even though it helps with leveling your testosterone, which you seem to have in abundance, it's not going to help your situation.”

“Yeah, that's the only release we get together,” Justin mumbled.

“Do you kiss often?” Ethan asked, deciding to try a different tactic.

“Every day,” Brian answered without missing a beat, even though he found the question odd.

Justin shook his head. “He means real kissing. Like sucking my tongue and checking my tonsils.”

“Of course we do that,” Brian said vehemently. “Well, not as often as I'd like.”

“God forbid we do it.... it leads to sex… which we don't have time for.”

Ethan tapped his pen against his notepad. “When's the last time you held each other?”

“Why would I do that?” Brian frowned. “We don't cuddle.”

Ethan noticed Justin's fingers curling, turning into fists, aggravated at Brian's answers.

“Do you hold hands?”

“We never have,” Justin admitted in a small voice.

“Exactly. We're not a couple of lesbians.”

“It usually brings comfort and reassures the other half you're there for them, that you care for them,” Ethan explained. He took Justin's hand, making Brian straighten, his eyes narrowing on the doctor's hand holding his husband's. Then he took Brian's hand, making him scowl and try to extract it from the clammy, cold grip.

Ethan stood up after making sure he’d connected Brian and Justin's hands on the couch between them. He could already tell a lot by their reaction when he'd grabbed their hands. Justin had squeezed his, grateful, while Brian had tried to withdraw.

“I want you to hold hands throughout today's session,” he declared.

Brian sat erect, his hand arm stretched awkwardly to his left, his fingers wrapped loosely around Justin's.

Justin sat somewhat relaxed, leaning to his right, his fingers clutching Brian's, craving the contact.

“We're going to talk about a part of your relationship, I'm sure both of you treasure, like all couples.” Ethan smiled, taking back his seat. “You're both going to tell me about how you met, in your own way.”

“We were both there. It's the same story. We saw each other. We liked what we saw...” Brian smirked at Justin. “...a lot. Then we fucked. End of story.”

It was patients like Brian that made Ethan question why he'd abandoned his aspiring career as a professional violinist to become a psychologist. He could be in a concert hall entertaining masses of avid classical music lovers, instead of helping lovers find love again.

“Justin?” He turned to the blond man, who had his eyes shut and a smile on his face.

Hearing his name, Justin's eyes opened and he unleashed that hypnotic blue gaze on Ethan. “Yeah?”

“Care to share your opinion of your first meeting with Brian?”

“He's not too far from the truth,” he said, blushing. “You see, I was really young and naive. It was my first time on Liberty Avenue - that's the center of the gay community in Pittsburgh - and after some creep tried to lure me into an alley, I was about to call my friend to come get me. So there I was, leaning against a lamp post, trying to convince myself to give exploring my sexuation another chance.”

“If you don't mind me interrupting, how old were you?”

Brian groaned. “Please! Don't turn this into some crazy thing. We heard enough of that in the beginning. He was seventeen. I was twenty-eight.”

“Twenty-nine,” Justin whispered, squeezing his hand.

“Whatever.” Brian smiled back at Justin, though.

Maybe the subject would remind them why they fell in love to begin with, Ethan thought. “Okay. So you were under the lamp post, ready to give the next man who approached you a chance.”

“Yes. Then Brian came out of Babylon, the night club near where I was standing. I noticed him from the moment he left the club. He was with three other men, all of them joking and shoving each other. He went to the driver's side of a Jeep, and as he started to climb in, he looked up.”

“That's when I saw him,” Brian added, still smiling, his eyes on Justin. “He was so beautiful. I think it was the E I'd taken, but he looked like an angel under the lamp's glow.”

“And he came to me. He used one of the worst pick-up lines in history, and I fell for it. Next thing I knew, I was in the passenger seat of his Jeep, riding into the unknown with a complete stranger.” Justin grinned at Brian.

“Were you scared?” Ethan asked, pleased to see both his patients smiling.

“No. I trusted him,” Justin said seriously, turning to look at Ethan. “It's odd, I know, but I knew Brian wasn't going to hurt me.”

“And then what happened when you got to Brian's place? Did you fall into bed immediately?”

Justin laughed loudly, and even Brian chuckled.

“It was one crazy night. I mean, it was my first time...everything. I was nervous as fuck. Inside his loft, Brian undressed and presented himself to me. God.” Justin's cheeks pinked as he spoke of his first time with Brian. “Then he kissed me and I almost creamed my jeans. I'd been hard since he’d first spoken to me.”

Ethan noticed Brian's fingers curling tighter around Justin’s.

He wrote 'progress' on his pad.

“Then I had him in bed, ready to fuck his brains out, though his childish responses to everything I asked led me to think he was a virgin.”

“To make our night more interesting, Brian got a call from his lesbian friends that the child he'd helped bring into the world had been born. That's when I admitted I had nowhere to go, because my parents thought I was staying at a friend’s house.”

“And he said he was seventeen, albeit reluctantly.”

“I ended up going with him to the hospital, where I met his friends… his family, really. They're… we're all a big family,” Justin explained.

“That's true. Friends are the family you choose.” Ethan nodded. “How did the family react to meeting Justin?”

“They were used to being shocked by me... though, I had never brought a trick along when I was near the family,” Brian said. “I should have known from that moment that Justin was no trick.”

“Trick?” Ethan repeated, ceasing to write about how open Brian had become.

“I used to fuck around back then.”

“I tamed the beast,” Justin interjected when Ethan was about to voice his concern about the turn the conversation was taking.

“I see. Well, I guess you ended the night in bed at some point.”

“In bed… on the floor… on the couch… over the back of the couch… on the counter… against a pillar...” Brian said, grinning.

Justin returned the grin, eyes locked with Brian's, both transported many years ago.

Ethan stared at them, trying to understand what had happened to them to distance them so much. It was clear they were as in love as on the first day, but life had gotten in between them and their love. He was determined to do everything in his power to help them find that spark that made them want to live, love, and spend time together.


	4. Chapter 4

“How's this? Better?” Brian asked, curiously.

They were sitting on a bench near the lighthouse, staring off at the sea.

Justin glanced at him, before refocusing on his ice cream. “It's a start. I liked talking about how we met.”

Brian fought a smile, stretching out an arm along the back of the bench, behind Justin, and crossing his legs, angling himself toward his husband. “Yeah. Meeting me was memorable, I bet.”

Justin slid closer, snuggling into the crook of Brian's arm. “Brian, what happened to us?”

“Damned if I know.”

“Sometimes… I regret coming back from New York.”

Brian wrapped his hand around Justin's shoulders, bringing him closer. “Don't say that!”

“But look what happened! We at least talked and met to fuck regularly. Now, we live in the same house, and we barely see each other. Let's not even talk about fucking.”

“I was thinking about this yesterday when I came back from the bar. The old me would probably cringe at what I've become.”

Justin laughed. “The old you would explode from pent-up sexual frustration if more than five hours went by without you fucking something.”

Brian snorted. “Do you suppose we need a schedule?”

“No, what we need is to actually be in the same room when we're both home. For you to actually show you still care for me.” Justin tilted his head to look into Brian's eyes. “This morning, in the shower, I was so surprised when you propositioned me...”

“That's why you refused?”

“It was for the wrong reason!”

“It was for the right reason,” Brian retorted, pulling away and glaring at Justin. “I heard the shower running and decided, why not? I could imagine you in there – naked, wet, sleepy, warm. I had to be in there with you.”

Justin averted his eyes. “When you apologized, then made a move, I thought...”

“Of course, my reputation still precedes me, even with you.”

After a few minutes spent in silence, Justin threw the cornet away in the nearest trashcan.

“Let's go back.”

“Back?” Brian repeated, startled.

“To the cottage. So eager to be done with this holiday?”

“I was truly surprised you'd want to go back home, that's all.” Brian walked a step behind Justin, allowing him to decide which way they'd head back to the main road. There was a path to the left that led right to the road and would bring them out near the shop, or there was the route from the beach that ended close to the cottage.

When Brian saw Justin heading to the left, he caught his hand, pulling him back.

Justin eyed him in amusement, raising an eyebrow.

Brian grinning, taking him toward the beach. “You better take your shoes off,” he commented, toeing off his loafers and carrying them in his free hand.

Justin was too excited by what Brian had proposed to talk. It was one of the most romantic things they'd ever done. Brian initiating a walk along the beach at sunset, with the tide gently lapping at their ankles, was all Justin needed to believe they were going to be okay - even if they were a long way from where he wanted them to be.

**oOo**

Their happiness didn't last.During breakfast the next day, they went back to square one.

When they'd returned to the cottage the previous night, Brian had gone as far as asking for a movie at the reception desk. They'd settled in together on the couch, watching some sappy movie that bored them so much, it put them to sleep.

Justin was excited they'd slept on the same piece of furniture, never mind the crick in his neck. They showered together again, but he didn't allow Brian to do more than to wash his back, which he reciprocated.Justin wanted them to be ready to take that step. He was afraid to fuck it up by hurrying the pace of their therapy.

Brian suggested they try the breakfast the cottage offered. It went smoothly, and Justin was even enjoying the meal, especially when Brian allowed Justin to feed him a bite of his omelet. Only for Justin's nerves to skyrocket in the next second when Brian's eyes latched onto one of the waiters across the room.

They'd been monogamous for five years. Or so he hoped. He doubted Brian had found the time to go somewhere to get his rocks off. He'd be deeply hurt if that was the truth, considering Brian rarely – close to never – had time for Justin, his husband.

Justin grabbed Brian's chin, jerking at it until their eyes met. “What the fuck, Brian?”

”What? He's hot.”

Justin stormed out of the small restaurant area. He smoked three cigarettes as he picked his way to Dr. Gold's house. All he could do was hope that Brian would follow him eventually.

**oOo**

Ethan was surprised to see Justin alone on his doorstep.

“Good morning, Justin. Is Brian going to join us?”

“Hey! Who knows?” Justin shrugged, stepping inside.

Ethan led him to the sofa, taking his seat in the stuffed chair across from his patient. “You were happy when you left yesterday. I was proud of the progress you'd made.”

“Well, there's this word… regress.”

“Do you mind if we talk about what happened yesterday after you left?”

A small smile appeared on Justin's face. “We went to the beach. It was really nice. We talked and walked hand in hand along the shore.” He looked away, dropping his gaze. “We even watched a boring movie together last night. Slept on the sofa. We showered together this morning...”

“Did anything happen?” Ethan interjected.

Justin scrubbed at his face, leaving red marks on his white cheeks. “I don't know what to do, doc. I mean. _Fuck_. I want to kiss Brian and fall in his arms… make everything better, but what if it is too soon?”

“Did you want to kiss him?”

“Fuck yes. I want that all the time.” Justin smiled widely. “And fuck him. I want to feel his arms around me… and I want what we had back.”

“Did he want to kiss you?”

“How should I know? I think so. He kept playing with my hair last night during the movie. It's his move before a makeout session. I guess we both fell asleep before that could happen.”

Ethan nodded, understanding that Justin wanted to move forward with getting back to what he once had with Brian, but that he was afraid. He had yet to understand what scared him.

“And this morning? Why did you come here on your own?”

“Brian stayed for dessert,” Justin said bitterly.

“For breakfast?”

“The waiter was hot.” Justin shrugged.

The sip of water Ethan had taken flew out of his nose. “Excuse me?”

Justin rolled his eyes. “We've always been in an open relationship. Well, in the past few years we've been monogamous… I mean, I hope so. Fuck, I don't know anything anymore!”

“You mean that Brian used to fuck around?” Ethan dropped all professionalism, for the first time unsure if he could actually help them.

“We both fucked around. We shared tricks. But that was before I went to New York. When I came back, it was just us… it was like our honeymoon stage.” Justin smiled wistfully. “Sorry,” he mumbled, pulling the ringing phone out of his pocket. “What?” He barked into it, hinting to Ethan that Brian was on the other end of the line. “At Dr. Gold’s. Where did you think I was?” There was a minute of silence, in which Ethan could hear Brian's loud voice but couldn't discern the words. “Yes,” Justin answered sarcastically. “That's exactly what I'm doing! You know what? Don't even bother coming here!”

Ethan tilted his head toward the ceiling, listening to Justin's side of the argument, because it wasn't a conversation.

“Oh, so it's my fault now that you went after the waiter? … Yes, Brian. Your willpower depends on whether or not we fuck. … You're absolutely right. Why don't you try finding the next fuckable guy and stick your dick in him while you're at it? Since I'm the mean, heartless husband who won't allow you to fuck me? … I don't give a shit that you couldn't go through with it! … Look, finding excuses and apologizing isn't your thing, so stop that shit. I'm at Dr. Gold's. You're wasting the time I have with him.” Justin's eyes blazed with a fire. “That your money paid for, yes. Fuck you!” He hung up, throwing the phone onto the other end of the sofa.

“So I take it, Brian didn't go after dessert, after all?” Ethan asked lightly, trying to soothe Justin.

Justin turned his anger on him. “Now it's my fault! He almost fucked that guy because he can't fuck me! Is he serious? He's the one who landed us in this mess with his crazy schedule! He stopped kissing me! He stopped fucking me! He stopped _trying_! And now it's ALL my fault!” Justin finished in a loud roar, before hunching over, his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his palms.

“If Brian were here, we could have talked a little more about some of your happy times. Maybe that way, you’d be reminded what brought you together to begin with and that there's something worth fighting for.”

“At the moment, the bad memories are suppressing the good ones,” Justin whispered in a broken voice.

When Ethan saw Justin's shoulders shaking, he picked up some tissues, and went to sit next to him.

Justin took the tissues gratefully, wiping his eyes. “I don't want to let it get to me, but I miss what we once had. I know we can get back there, but… I can't see how.”

“That's what I'm here for,” Ethan said softly, rubbing Justin's shoulders. “If Brian is willing to show you some affection, don't push him away.”

“But what if a quickie in the shower is going to ruin our chances to...”

“Stop overthinking everything. Live in the moment. I have a feeling that's what your entire relationship was based on.”

Justin glanced at Ethan, smiling a little. “You're right.”

“Now, calm down. It's going to be okay.” He pulled Justin closer, allowing him to let out all the anguished tears.

A throat being cleared in the doorway made them jump apart as if burnt. Brian was glaring daggers at Ethan.

“Don't let me interrupt your cozy embrace. I can always leave.”

“Brian!” Justin stood, collecting himself. He swallowed thickly, as he walked to his husband. “I was an idiot to take off like that only because you commented on how hot the waiter was.”

“That's true. You acted like a twat. But I see you found consolation in the good doctor's arms.”

Justin chanced a look over his shoulder at Ethan, before focusing on Brian. “He's trying to help us, Bri. I think I opened a can of worms by telling him about our open relationship.”

“It's a good thing that you've joined us, Brian,” Ethan said loudly, going to his stuffed chair. “Please, take your seat on the sofa. We're going to talk about some of your happiest memories.”


	5. Chapter 5

“I'd like you to resume yesterday's position. Please hold hands and stay close to each other,” Ethan instructed.

Brian slid closer to Justin's side of the sofa, draping an arm over the back of the couch and reaching out with his other hand to entwine his fingers with Justin's.

Ethan was pleased to see the change in Brian's attitude. It meant he was willing to try.

“Alright, now I want both of you to share one of the happiest memories you have of your relationship.”

Justin tilted his head to look at Brian, before a small smile appeared on his lips. “I can't simply pick one memory because I treasure all our time together. If I had to pick, I guess, it would be the time we spend together with our son. Brian lets his guard down, and he's a bigger child than Gus sometimes.”

Brian smirked, playing with Justin's hair. “I expected you to say when I proposed.”

“Don't worry. That moment has a special place in my heart, too. But I'm the happiest when we're together with our son.”

“I'm going to agree with Brian here,” Ethan interrupted. “We'll get to the point when I want to know about you and other people—friends and family. Right now we're focused on your relationship, Justin.”

Justin sighed, scratching his nose absently. “That would be when I was trying to succeed in New York, away from Brian. I had this big show coming up and I knew he was busy, working on branching out Kinnetik. On the eve of my show, he turned up on my doorstep looking adorably rumpled and tired as fuck, but he was there for me.” Justin snuggled closer to Brian.

“I looked like a hobo and smelled like the soap industry had gone to shit. I was fucking gross,” Brian said, perplexed.

“It didn't matter to me. You were there. For me.” Justin grinned, squeezing his fingers.

“What about you, Brian? What's the happiest memory you have of you two?” Ethan interjected.

Brian glanced at Justin, smiling. “When I proposed. That's why I was surprised it isn't the same for you.”

“Really?” Justin lifted a brow, clearly surprised.

“When I first proposed to you, in that crappy studio you decided to call home. It was then that you told you all about your dream home, so I went and bought it for you.”

Justin's eyes widened. “How can that be a happy memory? I told you no. I thought you were asking me as an aftermath of what happened at Babylon.”

“That night, when I realized I could have lost everyone… especially you… and we weren't even speaking anymore... I decided to man up and show you how much I love you.”

“Oh, Brian!” Justin hugged his husband tightly. “We never talked about this. I'm so sorry I doubted your intentions in the beginning.”

“That sounds very romantic and unlike how I pegged you, Brian.” Ethan chuckled.

“He has his moments,” Justin explained, stroking a hand through Brian's hair. “He's a closet case.”

“Which, I bet makes these moments even more special.”

“You have no idea.”

“Hey! I'm right here,” Brian muttered. “Would you mind not talking about me like I'm not here?”

Ethan retrieved his forgotten notepad, writing about the progress the couple had made.

“What about a sad memory that brought you closer?”

Justin met Brian's eyes, then looked at Ethan. “Can we not talk about this? It's sensitive.”

“Well, therapy is meant to stir up bad memories, to make you reflect on the past, and help you discover a better future.”

“That's total bullshit.” Brian scowled. “If Justin is okay with talking about this… sure, but if he says no, then it's fucking no.”

“I thought it would be difficult for you, actually,” Justin whispered. “It's not like I know what happened.”

“This sad memory must mean a lot to both of you since you instantly thought of the same thing, unlike with the happy memory,” Ethan said quietly. “I know you believe this is bullshit, Brian, but talking about it does make it better.”

“No, it doesn't.” Brian cringed, closing his eyes.

“Look, can we skip this? Go to your next question,” Justin begged, hugging Brian. “Please, this is something we don't talk about. It's our taboo subject.”

“It's been like that for too long in my opinion. Did you ever go to therapy about whatever happened to you two? To me, it looks like untreated PTSD.” Ethan wasn't specialized in that field of therapy, but it seemed he had to put to good use what little he knew. This couple’s therapy had turned into treating past events that had left their toll on the couple before him.

Watching Justin and Brian at that moment made Ethan feel like he was intruding on an intimate embrace. Brian was leaning into Justin's touch, clinging to the younger man, who was whispering softly in his ear and combing slender fingers through his hair.

A long time passed before Justin spoke. He talked so softly that Ethan would have missed the words, if he hadn’t been watching the pair so intently and seen Justin's lips moving.

“I was bashed at my prom.”

Brian moved for the first time in since they’d embraced, bringing Justin's head closer and kissing his right temple. His cloudy eyes turned toward Ethan. “Justin invited me to be his date at prom. I flat out refused for various reasons – I was much older and had no place there; it was his special night; we weren't dating or anything; I refused to acknowledge how he’d grown on me.” Brian took a shuddering breath, his fingers squeezing Justin's hand tightly. “His prom was a few days after my thirtieth birthday. A chain of bad events led up to my birthday – I was rejected by a big-shot New York ad company where I'd applied to be an account manager; my best friend was making the worst mistake of his life by planning to move across the country with his boyfriend; and I was turning an age I dreaded reaching. Truthfully, the only people that still made me happy were Justin and my son, Gus. So I decided to indulge Justin. I planned on showing up, dancing with him, then leaving.”

“That's what happened, from what you said,” Justin whispered.

Brian smiled gently, staring at Justin. “He was so happy to see me there. We danced to the lamest song ever. We kissed. We had the dance floor to ourselves.” Brian swallowed hard, closing his eyes for a second. “Justin walked me to the garage to my car. He'd come to prom with his best friend, and he couldn’t abandon her. We planned on meeting at my loft after he took Daphne back home.”

When Brian didn't say anything else, Ethan decided to coax him into giving more information. “I assume Justin never made it to your place.”

Brian looked up sharply, fire and tears blazing in his eyes. “He never made it out of the fucking garage. We kissed again, then I got into my car. I looked in the side mirror, smiling at how happy I'd made him. As I watched him walking away, I knew I'd fallen for him and there was nothing I could do about it. Then… I saw one of his schoolmates with a baseball bat. Before I could leave the car and catch up with them, it was too late.”

“I was in a coma for a few weeks. Months of therapy followed. Brian never showed up and it made me more determined to get better and find out why he'd shut me out.”

“Justin confronted me; we talked; and after, his mother tried to keep us apart by forbidding me to see him again. That plan didn’t go well, and Justin ended up staying with me at my loft. I think that's when we got closer than before, when we got to really know each other.” Brian shared a smile with Justin, rubbing his hand.

“I have a feeling you're both skipping something important, but it's not my place to prod you on this matter. I'm sure such a horrifying event brought you closer than anything else. And if you're open and willing to talk about this some more, I have a friend in Pittsburgh,” Ethan offered.

“No.” Both Brian and Justin shook their heads vehemently.

“I was aiming for another stage of your therapy now, but to make the transition easier, I'm going to ask you to share some random memory of your relationship. It doesn't matter if it's nice or not, old or new.”

“Random?” Justin laughed a little.

“When Justin was in New York and I visited, I used to sit on the windowsill, drinking coffee and watching him paint in the morning,” Brian said. “I used to bitch about the morning light and his sudden inspiration, but I actually loved that time.”

“I knew it; you secretly enjoyed it.” Justin chuckled. “I don't know what to share...”

“Anything. Like I said. It doesn't matter if it's one of the times when your relationship started falling apart or a nice memory.” Ethan gave him an encouraging smile.

Justin stared at his and Brian's linked hands. “That's the thing. The only thing I can think of is how I waited for Brian to get home, excited to tell him about a new commission I’d gotten, or a new idea I’d had, but dinner would get cold and when he finally returned, he would be in an awful mood and simply lock himself in the bedroom.” Justin glanced at Brian, chewing on his lip. “After a few weeks like that, I stopped going to our bedroom and crawling in next to him, trying to sleep. I don't think he even noticed I slept in the guest bedroom unless we had Gus over.”

“I don't know how our relationship got so out of hand...” Brian sighed loudly.

“It's important that you see it now,” Ethan said, making them look at him. “Accepting responsibility for your mistake is a huge step. Repairing what you broke takes time, but I have complete faith in you two.”

“We're going to change things when we get back,” Brian agreed.

“It will take time. Both your routines are deeply cemented by now, but if you make time to at least eat dinner together and talk a little before going to bed, you'll soon see that your relationship will return to what it used to be.”

“How do you know? We might have overcome a huge bump now by talking to you about this. We still have a couple more days...but when we get home...” Justin said softly, afraid to voice his fears.

“Don't worry. I know what I did wrong. I won't repeat my mistakes,” Brian promised.

Ethan smiled, pleased to see a visible change in Brian. He was determined to make it right. “For now, I want you to do something you used to do together that brought both of you great pleasure and happiness. It doesn't matter if it is watching a movie, playing cards, having intercourse, or talking about the universe. I want to hear about your fantastic evening tomorrow. And if you end up having another fight, I won't allow either of you in here alone, which means you have to try to see why the fight started and work on fixing it.”

“Sounds like we have a fun night ahead of us.” Brian laughed, getting up and helping Justin to his feet.

Justin turned red, but kept his head held high. “We'll see you tomorrow,” he told Ethan. “I guess we overstayed our welcome today.”

“Nonsense. I didn't have anyone else scheduled after you. Besides, I'm glad I could help.”

**oOo**

“This is your idea of fun?” Brian lifted a brow, looking around the deserted place.

“I expected more people to be here,” Justin said in confusion. “Anyway, we used to have fun when we went to Woody's. Drinking, dancing, playing pool.”

“That's a real jukebox. I haven't seen one since my teens.” Brian approached the machine. “Do you know what this is?”

Justin rolled his eyes. “Of course, I do! I've seen movies.”

Brian laughed loudly. “My point exactly. This thing is old. Let's see if I remember how to use it.” He thrust his bottle of beer into Justin's empty hand, fingering the jukebox until a seventies ballad came blaring out.

 _It's a little bit funny this feeling inside_  
I'm not one of those who can easily hide  
I don't have much money but boy if I did  
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

Brian wrapped his arms around Justin's neck, swaying. “This is more fun than Woody's,” he admitted.

“I'm glad you approve.” He hugged Brian tightly, reaching up to kiss him as the song kept playing in the background.

 _And you can tell everybody this is your song_  
It may be quite simple but now that it's done  
I hope you don't mind  
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words  
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

A few other people joined them, which made it less awkward than being the only two dancing.When they got bored with dancing, they ordered food, talking about the progress they’d made so far.

“Are you pleased with how it’s going?” Brian asked, taking a gulp of his beer.

“Today was a great day. We talked a lot, and I feel better.” Justin nodded. “We really need a strong plan for when we go home, at least until we settle into a new routine.”

“I hate routine. Why can’t we just let it be? I know what I did wrong. You know what you did wrong. We’re stronger. I promise not to make the same mistake twice, Justin.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Justin chewed on his lip. “I trust you when you make a promise, and I promise you the same thing.” Smiling, he took one of Brian’s hands in both of his. “But I’m worried.”

“I'm worried too, Sunshine. We’ll make it work.” Brian squeezed Justin’s hands. “I love you,” he added softly, leaning closer to kiss his husband.

Justin beamed, nestling closer to Brian. “Me too. Love you too.”


	6. Chapter 6

Back at the guesthouse, Brian put aside the wine Justin had insisted on buying on their way back, while Justin locked up.

Brian decided a shower was a good idea after the long, hot day they’d had. He was testing the temperature of the water when Justin joined him, throwing him a bashful smile.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I have to piss real bad.”

“Since when do you ask my permission to piss?” Brian laughed.

Justin focused on the pressing matter, shrugging in answer. “Since I have no fucking clue where we stand…”

Brian stepped closer, turning his husband around when he was done. “We stand right here. The shower is running, waiting for us to wash.” He helped a surprised Justin out of his clothes, before leading him into the shower stall. “Come on, I promise not to bite,” he murmured against Justin’s neck. “Unless you want me to,” he added, his teeth grazing the sensitive spot behind Justin’s ear.

“Fuuuck.”

“We could fuck, if you want.”

Justin glanced back, raising a brow. “I don’t want to start another argument, but I’d rather do it in bed… after so much time. You may think it’s lesbianic, but…”

Brian stopped Justin’s silly excuses with a kiss. It was supposed to be an innocent kiss but, all too soon, he had pushed his husband against the tile wall, his hands in the blond locks, his tongue checking him for cavities. They hadn’t shared such a carnal kiss in too long.

Justin wrapped a leg around Brian’s thigh, humping against him, moaning at the sinful things Brian was doing with his tongue.

Brian pulled Justin closer to his body, dropping his mouth to pepper kisses on his throat and shoulder.

“Fuck the shower!” Justin exclaimed. “I need your dick in me like… a year ago!”

Brian managed a chuckle, before helping Justin out of the shower. They didn’t bother with towels, heading to the bed dripping wet.

“There’s lube in my bag,” Justin instructed from his position on the bed.

“What about condoms?” Brian inquired, grabbing the bottle.

“We haven’t used them in years. I don’t know why I wanted to buy them the other day… maybe to see your reaction?”

“I'm sorry. I’ve been such an asshole.” Brian knelt next to him, rubbing a hand across Justin’s ample butt.

“Less talk, more action. Fuck. I’m so horny!” Justin shifted around, slowly stroking his dick.

Brian rolled Justin onto his front, parting his cheeks gently, licking around the pucker. Encouraged by the sounds coming from his husband, he kept sucking and licking, dipping his tongue inside, until Justin was almost crying from the pleasurable torture.

Using generous amounts of lube, Brian pushed a finger inside his husband, then added another, slowly breaching him, not wanting to hurt him at all. When Justin was ready, he coated his dick with lube and propped himself up against the headboard.

Justin accepted the silent invitation to sit on his husband’s lap. Balancing with his hands on Brian’s shoulders, Justin guided his dick home.They both cursed at the feeling of being reunited after so long. When their eyes met, they made a speechless vow to never again let so much time pass between fucks.

It took Justin a bit of slipping and shifting to find a rhythm, but then he used Brian as his personal sex toy, not that Brian disapproved. He was a fervent participant in their lovemaking. When Justin tired of bottoming from the top, Brian pushed him onto his back, before plowing him into the mattress.

If there was anyone nearby, they were well aware of the couple’s activities, but Justin and Brian never cared if others heard how loud they got.

The first round in bed didn’t satisfy them in the least, and soon they explored the whole suite – the walls, the couch, the table, the door leading to the bathroom, finishing with the bathtub. They shared a bottle of wine while relaxing in the scented water.

“How are you feeling? Sore?” Brian checked, keeping Justin between his legs, running his fingers over his arm.

“Now, I feel amazing. Ask me again tomorrow.” He sighed happily, taking a sip from the bottle.

“I’m not done with you, Sunshine.” Brian bit Justin’s earlobe.

“If you want me to walk and sit tomorrow, I think we should stop right now.” He tilted his head, smirking at his husband. “Buuuut…if you still want more, like I do…. give me that special treat…”

Brian’s eyebrows rose so high, they got lost in the wet hair plastered to his forehead. “The extra rare special treat?” he mused, stealing the bottle from Justin’s hand.

“Please?” Justin turned around, wrapping his arms around Brian’s neck. “I promise to make it worth it. Don’t I always?”

After a few gulps of wine for courage and a heated staring contest, Brian sighed loudly. “Once. My ass is not as used to it as yours.”

Justin laughed, carefree, before getting up. After bending to take the stopper out of the tub, he helped Brian up. He then took Brian’s hand, leading the way to the bedroom.

Justin was even more careful with Brian, preparing him thoroughly, pushing two fingers into him gently, curling them to play with his prostate, while sucking on his dick. When Brian was on the edge, Justin pushed into him. They were both so turned on by that point that it didn’t take long before they found completion.

That night, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, happier than they had been in months.

**oOo**

Justin’s fantasy of waking up in Brian’s arms and making love was just a dream.

When he opened his eyes, he found the spot next to him empty and slightly cold. Maybe Brian was in the bathroom? As he became more aware of his surroundings, though, he distinguished the unmistakable clicking sound of a keyboard coming from the front room.

Wrapping the bedsheets around his naked body, Justin went in search of Brian. Sure enough, he was on the sofa, typing furiously on his laptop, in all his naked glory.

He stopped briefly when he spotted Justin, throwing him a smile. “Morning, Sunshine!”

“Hey.” Justin shuffled closer, sitting on Brian’s lap, blocking his way to the coffee table where the computer sat. He kissed him slowly, glad when Brian responded eagerly. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t hear my phone ringing earlier. There’s a problem at the San Francisco headquarters. Some pipe leaking that managed to ruin what the team had worked on for a month. I have my Pittsburgh and Chicago teams trying to help as best as they can. The presentation should be next Wednesday. It’s the John Varvatos shoe store campaign for their fall collection.”

Justin could remember Brian stressing over this for the past month. “Oh, fuck! Is everything gone? What kind of leak?”

“You know I choose only old buildings for my office space. I guess the guys who restored it didn’t pay close attention to the old pipes. Give me ten minutes to finish my email to Ted. I called for breakfast a while ago. It should arrive soon.” Brian pecked Justin’s cheek, reaching around him to keep typing.

“I can sit next to you…” he offered, realizing how uncomfortable it must be for Brian to type the email, even though he appreciated the gesture.

“Don’t move.” Brian brought him closer, hugging him tightly. “I'm almost done.”

“Seriously, I'm not paranoid. Let me up.” Thankfully, a knock on the door helped him escape the suddenly suffocating Brian.

By the time Justin finished inspecting what Brian had ordered for breakfast, Brian joined him at the table. He poured himself a cup of coffee, slumping into a chair.

“It will be okay. Do you have to be in San Francisco to solve this?” Justin asked, spreading butter on a slice of bread.

“Most likely. Up for a trip?”

Justin shrugged. “I don’t have anything planned, so yeah. I could accompany you.” He smiled, liking that Brian proposed such a thing.

Brian smirked at Justin over the rim of his cup. He ate some of the egg-white omelet he’d ordered, before leaning back in his seat, watching the blond. He tried to remember the last time he simply observed his husband doing something as normal as eating.

Suddenly, Justin stopped chewing. He wiped at his face with a napkin, shifting uncomfortably. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

Brian leaned closer, cupping his cheek. “You’re beautiful.”

“God, Brian! Stop this.”

“What? It’s true. My Sunshine.” He reached out to pull him closer and kissed his lips.

“If I didn’t know you could be extra sweet and romantic, I’d say you’re bipolar. Just yesterday morning you went after the waiter because he was hot.”

“I didn’t fuck him.”

Justin snorted. “Yippie!”

“Are we fighting again?” Brian asked, confused.

“No. I’m just trying to get used to your mood swings again.” Justin grinned. “We have an hour before we have to see Ethan. Wanna walk on the shore?”

“Now we’re on first name basis?”

“I guess it’s only normal. The man saw my snot. I cried on his shoulder.”

“I'm so sorry, Justin.” Brian stood up, wrapping his arms around Justin and kissing his head. “Finish here and we can walk around if you want.”

.

.

.

They arrived at their therapy session twenty minutes later, dripping wet.

Justin’s idea for a walk had the lighthouse as their destination, where they fucked at the top of it. What neither of them expected was a light summer rain trying to interrupt them. It didn’t. If anything, it got them more excited and horny.

Ethan stared at his soaked patients, stepping aside. He excused himself to bring them towels.

When he returned, he expected to find them standing in the hallway where he’d left them, feeling awkward and out of place. Instead, Ethan found them in the kitchen working on making tea, while giggling, kissing, and touching each other like two teenagers.

“I brought you towels and two bathrobes. I strongly recommend to get out of these wet clothes,” he advised.

Justin turned around, startled. “Oh, I guess, yeah. I hope you don’t mind that we intruded… but I figured some tea would help.”

“I'll finish up. You know where the bathroom is.”

“You do?” Brian frowned.

“I had to piss the other day. Did you forget?” Justin reminded him gently.

“Oh, I… Let’s get changed. I can’t afford to get a cold.”

Ethan stared after them in awe. When they’d left the prior day, he hadn’t expected miracles, but to see them so happy and in tune with each other made him proud of his hard work.

He carried the tray with their tea to the living room. He’d barely sat in his overstuffed chair when the happy couple came into the room holding hands.

“Hey, Ethan! Sorry for the mess,” Justin said, as if only then seeing Ethan for the first time.

“It’s all right. I figured you weren’t coming at all when I saw it had started raining,” Ethan said conversationally.

He tried not to comment on how close the couple sat on the couch, wrapped around each other. It made him extremely happy to see them doing that voluntarily, apparently without even thinking about their actions.

“We were already out. We visited the lighthouse,” Brian informed him with a large smile.

“That’s wonderful. The view is breathtaking, isn’t it?” Ethan realized they couldn’t answer truthfully, judging by the blush Justin was wearing and the smirk Brian had on his face. “I see there was some progress…”

“Hmmm… If you prefer to call it that…” Brian joked.

Justin reached for a cup of tea. “We spent a spectacular night together.”

Brian grabbed his own tea, smiling. “Every night and day from now on is going to be spectacular.” He kissed Justin’s cheek fondly.

.

.

.

The rest of the session went better than all the others.

Ethan was pleased to see both Justin and Brian answering all his questions sincerely and even trying to find solutions for their problems.

“This means that when you get home tomorrow, you're going to consciously spend more time together, right?” Ethan asked as their time drew to an end.

Justin smiled brightly, tilting his head toward Brian. “We'll be quite busy. We have to see the family, then focus on unpacking and repacking our bags. Brian has to be at the San Francisco office, and I will accompany him.”

Brian pulled Justin closer, kissing his head. “It's gonna be two tiring days, but I presume the following week will be much more relaxing. Sure, I'll be there for business, but that doesn't mean I won't have time for Justin. I'm actually looking forward to our time there.”

“Me too.” Justin turned his focus to Ethan. “The last time we were in San Francisco together, we were both caught up in our separate activities and never in the hotel room at the same time.”

“Not this time,” Brian promised seriously.

“It's refreshing to see this amazing change in you, Brian. I must admit, I had my doubts during this week,” Ethan admitted. “I'm happy you're willing to change things and show Justin how much he means to you.”

“I doubt we could have gotten through that dark period without you,” Justin said softly.

Brian snorted. “We'd have passed through it eventually, but this week has been eye-opening on many levels. It reminded me that work and money are not the most important things—you are. I've been hurting you for too long, and I hope to have your forgiveness for how I've been treating you.”

“I already forgave you, Brian. We were both guilty on different levels. If I had tried to push you a little harder, you'd have stopped destroying us, but I guess somewhere along the line… I gave up too.”

“The good thing is that now you're both aware of what happened to bring you to the spot you were in when Justin contacted me. From now on, you only have a bright, beautiful future to anticipate. There will be bumps; there will be fights; there will be dry, dull moments, but I trust both of you to get past them. If I trust anyone to do it, it's you.” Ethan beamed at them. “I've never seen so much love and such trust, such a connection, in any other couple that crossed my threshold.”

“Hear that, Sunshine? We're strong.” Brian elbowed Justin, making him giggle.

“If you ever need advice, you have my number. Like I said, there will be times when things aren't going to be all unicorns and rainbows, but with faith and talking about your problems, you'll get over them.”

“Thank you so much!” Justin untangled himself from Brian, walking to Ethan, who stood up. He hugged him tightly. “You helped us immensely.”

Brian joined them, pulling Justin back by his shoulders, extending his hand to Ethan. “I'm not going to say thanks for rekindling the fire because we all know that's bullshit, or for helping us find balance, because we'd have found it… eventually. I'm going to say thank you for reminding me what a wonderful, strong man I have by my side, one who is willing to stand against a storm and wait forever for me to figure out what the fuck am I doing. Justin has always had faith in me. He'd always known me, even when I didn't know myself.”

“That's so beautiful.” Ethan smiled, shaking Brian's hand. “I'm glad I could help. You have no idea how gratifying it is to see the couple I've counseled walk out of here happy and with positive thoughts about their future.”

Justin grinned, grabbing Brian's hand. “We better change into our clothes.”

When they returned from the bathroom, Ethan was waiting in the entryway. “I have one last task for you while you're here. I'm aware it will be especially difficult for Brian… but I want you to be spontaneous. Do something you wouldn't usually do.”

Brian's arm around Justin's shoulders flexed, tightening his grip. “For a second, I thought you wanted a go with Justin.” His words made Justin's face burn in embarrassment, stealing an amused yet worried look at Ethan. The man was trying not to laugh. “Then I'd have been spontaneous by punching you in the face,” Brian added with a smirk.

“Good thing I didn't suggest anything like that, huh? Don't worry. I have no intention of getting involved ever again after losing my partner.”

Justin gasped, elbowing Brian for making their therapist think of his apparently dark past.

“Don't worry. Helping couples occupies most of my time, which keeps me from succumbing to depression. Now, enough about me. It's your big moment, finishing your therapy so successfully.” Ethan brightened, but Justin could tell he wasn't all right. So he hugged him again, thanking him for his time and help.

Brian slung his arm around Justin's shoulders when they left, whistling loudly.

“From the grouch you were last Sunday when we arrived...” Justin said wistfully.

“Life is good.” Brian leaned over to kiss Justin's cheek.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are! The final chapter. I hope you had a nice journey along with our men.

That evening found Brian and Justin at the pub from the previous day. Unlike then, it was much more animated.

Brian snagged two stools at the bar, flagging down the bartender. “Two Amstel.”

Justin shifted into his seat, wincing, which made Brian laugh. “Shut up, asshole! It's all your fault I can't even sit down.”

“Now, now, Sunshine. You were the one begging for one more.”

“My ass is out of commission for the weekend.”

“I beg to differ. I've only just begun to reintroduce myself to my favorite ass in the world.” Brian accepted his beer, pushing the other toward Justin. “To us!”

After a swig of beer, Justin turned on the stool so he was facing Brian. “I could blow you until my ass gets better.”

Brian's eyes lit up. “You're not allowed to complain about a sore jaw.”

“I could also give you handjobs,” he suggested.

“If your hand gets tired...”

“Or maybe I could have more of my special treat,” Justin whispered with a leer.

“Or you could have your head checked.” Brian rolled his eyes. “I already let you top me in the past two days. Twice.”

“You fucked me, like, a dozen or so times. What do you think my ass says?”

Brian leaned closer, pressing his mouth to Justin's ear. “Up for one more?” Justin whimpered at the hot breath washing over his skin. “My cock is always up for one more, two more...a thousand more...when it's your bubble butt.”

“Fuck, Brian. Stop this. I literally can't.” Justin pushed his husband away, gulping his beer.

“Oh, look!” Brian pointed to something over Justin's shoulder, making him turn around, curious. He hoped it wasn't some hot guy, Brian wanting a substitute while Justin’s ass couldn’t take it.

Justin was surprised to see their therapist, Ethan, propping up the bar, looking shit-faced. He hadn't pinned him as the drinking type, but Justin figured they had made him think of his lost lover, bringing back bad memories.

“Do you suppose we should keep him company?” Justin wondered, catching Brian's eye.

“Looks like that bottle is all the company he needs.” Brian watched the man in disgust. That person had been their therapist.

“Fine, be an ass.” Justin got off the stool. “He needs someone… he's probably thinking of his lost lover. We made him think of that.” He was already gone, before Brian could scoff.

Justin leaned against Ethan's stool. “Hey,” he said in greeting.

Ethan's hazy eyes turned toward the familiar voice, and he smiled. “Mr. Taylor! I see you've taken my advice to go out and have fun.”

“Yeah. Grumpy there was all for staying holed up in the hotel room, but I dragged him out,” he joked, nodding at Brian, who was on the other side of the U-shaped bar, glaring at them.

Ethan downed his glass, looking between Brian and Justin. “Did you have another fight? He looks pissed.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “Even though he'd never admit it, he's jealous.” He leaned closer, taking a pull from his beer. “And seeing you here like this, he thinks you're a lousy therapist. I know better though. It's our fault that you're here in this state.”

Ethan sketched an almost believable smile. “I'm always in this state when I let myself think of Dylan.” He gestured to the bartender, who already knew to refill Ethan's glass. Ethan turned to Justin, sighing heavily. “You see, I chose psychology instead of music to be close to Dylan. We were from Philadelphia. I would have had a world of opportunities if I had pursued my career as a violinist, but I stuck with Dylan. He was in the military. They deployed him to this town. He loved the shore, the quiet, everything.” After a few sips from his fresh drink, Ethan continued his story. “Then he was called up to serve in the war. A part of me knew he wouldn’t return to me when he left.”

“It must have been terrible,” Justin whispered, rubbing the man's shoulder.

“We wrote to each other exactly twice. He was coming back for Christmas; that's what he told me in his last letter. Instead of Dylan on our porch, a week before Christmas, there stood his general.” Ethan crumpled down on the bar, sniffling. “All I have left is his medals, his uniform, and the flag.”

“I'm sorry. I can't even imagine how you feel. I almost lost Brian, and it nearly killed me.”

Ethan brushed at his tears. “You must wonder why you didn't see anything about him on display, like people usually do... It's still fresh, and the living room is only for my therapy, like I told you. I have his things in our room.”

“Fresh? How fresh?” Justin asked, having a feeling Ethan was also in need of therapy.

“Last December. I only returned to giving therapy sessions last month. I've been a recluse since it happened. If you ask anyone in this town about me, most of them admire me for my career and for bringing in tourists with my therapy course, but they'd still call me a drunk and the odd one.”

“But you're strong! You made it through and resumed your life. Some people can't do that.”

There was a loud, screeching sound from the microphone, making everyone complain loudly.

Ethan snorted. “Karaoke night is the funniest.”

“I've heard only bad voices so far,” Justin mumbled. He looked toward the spot where he'd left Brian, only to see it was empty. “Shit. I hope he didn't leave...”

After another shrill noise from the microphone, a song came on.

“I’d better go outside to call Brian and see where he went,” Justin told Ethan. “I'll be back.”

“Look there.” Ethan pointed toward the spotlight on the stage.

 _You Are My Sunshine_  
My only sunshine.  
You make me happy  
When skies are grey.  
You'll never know, dear,  
How much I love you.  
Please don't take my sunshine away

Justin froze, before slowly turning toward the stage.

Brian was standing near a microphone, an acoustic guitar in his hands, his eyes on Justin. He'd never heard Brian sing before and had no idea his husband possessed such a beautiful singing voice.

 _The other night, dear,_  
As I lay sleeping  
I dreamed I held you in my arms.  
When I awoke, dear,  
I was mistaken  
And I hung my head and cried

The song described their love and the last few rough years perfectly.

 _You are my sunshine,_  
My only sunshine.  
You make me happy  
When skies are grey.  
You'll never know, dear,  
How much I love you.  
Please don't take my sunshine away.

 _I'll always love you_  
And make you happy  
If you will only say the same  
But if you leave me  
To love another  
You'll regret it all some day

  


Ethan chuckled beside Justin. “I think Brian took quite seriously the spontaneous thing I mentioned earlier.”

Justin glanced at Ethan, before refocusing on his husband. “You think?”

“Go to him.” Ethan nudged him toward the stage.

On shaky legs, Justin made his way to Brian, who smiled widely when he saw Justin standing in the front row.

When the song ended, Brian cleared his throat. “For my Sunshine. I love you.”

The crowd erupted in cheers, making Justin flush, especially when the spotlight followed Brian as he climbed down the steps.

“I love you, too,” Justin whispered, wrapping his arms around Brian. “That was so—”

Brian cut his gushing off with a deep kiss, earning them different reactions from the crowd, but they didn't care. After separating, Brian kept an arm around Justin's shoulders, steering him toward Dr. Gold.

“Hey, doc. That spontaneous enough for ya?”

“I still can't believe you sang to me!” Justin beamed, reaching up to kiss Brian again.

“I have to say, that was unexpected,” Ethan commented. “Now I understand why Justin fought so hard to get back to where you were. If I hear you've fallen into a dark period again, I'll be personally offended. You're my miracle. I had no hope for you at the beginning of the week when I first met you.”

“Now, doc, you're not a miracle worker. You just reminded me of all the things worth living for; you reminded me how much I love Justin.” Brian pressed a kiss to Justin's temple, pulling him close.

“Nevertheless, I'm proud of my work with you two.”

“I can't thank you enough for helping us,” Justin said, shaking Ethan's hand warmly. “And after our little chat, I bet we crossed the doctor-patient line. If you ever need to talk to someone...”

Brian pulled away a little, one brow rising. “I thought you crossed the line when you left your snot on his shirt a few days ago.”

They all erupted in laughter.

Justin had missed seeing Brian so free of worry and back to his lovable self, a side he liked to keep hidden from people.

Their week in Mystic showed him it wasn't over yet. Their marriage had overcome a hard bump, and they were back to smooth sailing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and commenting.  
> PS: a little self-bragging. I answered all your comments. I haven't been able to do this in a long time. Time off work is nice.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully, I got you hooked and will see you for the next six days while I tell you all about this new story.


End file.
